By Laurie Notaro
IT’S LAURIE NOTARO’S vacation guide.
PREPARE TO chuckle YOUR TINSEL OFF.
It’s the main wonderful–and so much dreadful–season of the 12 months, whilst containers of brownies assault your thighs, drunken vacation revelers remain long gone their welcome, and your grandmother has conniptions on the division shop over the cost of hand lotion. Welcome to Laurie Notaro’s Christmastime.
In ten brand-new tales and 3 formerly released favorites, Notaro stocks the sidesplitting day-by-day mess ups of the vacations, like discovering herself on emergency female product recon in the dark on Christmas Eve; surrendering to the inevitable terrible present Parade by way of easily requesting vacation dish towels and tremendous white underpants from Sears; struggling with the morons in line on the 7th Circle of Hell, in a different way referred to as the selfmade craft shop; and attempting to dwell down her attractiveness because the such a lot Unfun Christmas occasion visitor Ever, because of an unlucky false impression related to a pretend overdose and emergency paramedics.
So even if you end up on the uninteresting and clever occasion or the Raucous and silly get together this vacation season, you’ll continuously recognize the place to discover Laurie–just stick with the chocolate path over to the cheese platter. She’ll be the only dialing the police officers.
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Additional info for An Idiot Girl's Christmas: True Tales from the Top of the Naughty List
The bobbing needle on the gauge showed that we had less than one hundred liters of fuel. This part of northern Pakistan was so remote and inhospitable that we’d had to have friends preposition barrels of aviation fuel at strategic sites by jeep. If we couldn’t make it to our drop zone we were in a tight spot, literally, since the craggy canyon we flew through had no level areas suitable for setting the Alouette down. Bhangoo climbed high, so he’d have the option of auto-rotating toward a more distant landing zone if we ran out of fuel, and jammed his stick forward, speeding up to ninety knots.
And in the interest of security and/or privacy I’ve changed a very few names and locations. Working on this book was a true collaboration. I wrote the story. But Greg Mortenson lived it. And together, as we sorted through thousands of slides, reviewed a decade’s worth of documents and videos, recorded hundreds of hours of interviews, and traveled to visit with the people who are central to this unlikeliest of narratives, we brought this book to life. And as I found in Pakistan, Mortenson’s Central Asia Institute does, irrefutably, have the results.
When Haji Ali handed him a cup of butter tea, Mortenson drank it with something similar to pleasure. The headman leaned forward, now that the required threshold of hospitality had been crossed, and thrust his bearded face in front of Mortenson’s. ” With snatches of Balti, and a lot of gesticulating, Mortenson told the crowd now watching him with rapt attention that he was American, that he’d come to climb K2 (which produced appreciative murmurs from the men), that he had become weak and sick and had walked here to Askole to find a jeep willing to take him on the eight-hour journey down to Skardu, Baltistan’s capital.